ABC's are overrated

It has been a while since I have posted, and I am sorry for that, but honestly, blogging isn't exactly on the top of my priority list, so yah, there. Anyway, not sure what I was going to write about on this one, cause I don't feel the insparation of writing poetry(maybe it will come a little later). So I decided to talk about other stuff.

A.
I find that life is not cool at the moment. Its not bad, its just.... become extremely complicated. I am just on my senior year of high school and well, it isn't easy to figure out that you are growing up. It sucks thinking of all the responsablilities and all the "grown up" stuff that I will find my self required to do, and well it is a bit frightening. There will be need for ALOT of growing up in the next year.

B.
I have FINALLY figured out that I haven't ever really known what it means to be a christian, that is, until this YC weekend. You see there is a difference between thinking that you are a christian and actually being one. And it is a BIG difference. I am a sheltered child(extreem understatement) and I was raised in a "christian" home, though I find that it is harder and harder to think of it that way. My familly lives in the past. My mom believes herself to be a very strong christian, yet I find her to be immature and racist. She has all these old beliefs, that people cant change and that I can't be associated with the people she doesn't know or that she dislikes or that have maybe done things in the past that they regret. And that is not what it is about, its not a secret club and its not a state of mind. Its a way of life and people are twisting it to be what they belive it to become.

C.
I suddenly find people talking to me, not that people didn't do it before of course, but its like I suddenly have been noticed around other people. For example: someone came up to me in the hall that I barely know, he is an aquaintance and he was never extremely nice to me, but he slaps me on the back in an extremely friendly way and starts talking ammiably to me. Some thing I am not extremely used to in a school setting unless with my closer friends. Also, on my way to school this morning( I had to go to band) some girl I never had seen before came up to me and started to talk to me in a quite friendly way about the book I was reading, usually I find myself on a bus seat to myself because noone wants to sit with someone of my size or something.I am growing more confient in myself. I never really cared what other people thought of me, but suddenly I find my self view beginning to evolve. I am not really sure what is happeneing there but I will keep you up to date and whatnot.

And finnaly I am having problems with the stray thoughts that are floating around in my head. Ever since camp things have been going wacko at home, and on top of it all I suddenly find myself with a girlfriend(whom I am grateful for, dont get me wrong) which muddles it even more. (Those of you that have had relationships in the past may recall something simmilar in their first relationgship). With these experiences I have discovered to much my dismay that girls are wiered and make little to no sence at all.

I miss you all from camp and I am itching for the summer already :( this is going to be a long school year I think.

Anyway I will blog again soon I think,

The GIANT