Inside the mind of a Giant

A very interesting Day

2006-09-27T21:39:00.000-07:00

Ok so hee's the deal. THe only reason I haven't reported anything in the last while is that I haven't had a whole lot of time to think lately, with school and whatnot.

TODAY however, deams a schpeal. things started out normally, I went to school... then got off at about 11 cause I skiped the tutorials that occupied the rest of the day. Came home to do some work to make up for going to YC!

Anyway. I come home to find my "sick" brother and my dad playing videogames, so after a couple hours of work, I joined them until I had to leave for timmy hoh's

at work... somehow... I got 5 dollars tip... this being after it was split between 4 people. Pretty good concidering that It was only half the staff that we are supposed to have on at any given time. Anyway. the strangeness climaxed when ... OUT OF THE BLUE... a group of girls asked for my number. It was some corny line about "giving me a 'tip' if I give them my number" I graciously declined, got a 2 dollar tip, and was baffled for the rest of the evening.

I am not sure. but MAYBE I need to revamp my self image. I personnally have always thought that I didn't have a whole lot of funding in the looks department. And look more wierd that anything else. I don't recognize my own voice, and I guess never realized that it is not to bad at communicating.

Anyway. otherwise all is well... until next time

-the Giant

I am so sad

2006-09-07T23:05:00.000-07:00

Today was a really good day, for the most part. The only thing is, that I am having problems fitting in with my fellow Compsci students. It turns out that they are most of them really cool guys, and they are all really interesting people... except for one little detail.

For some reason. to be accepted in this strange cult that is the Computer Science Faculty, one MUST play a certain videogame called World of Warcraft.

Yah... I know eh?

Anyway, I decided that, in this case, peer preasure isn't such a bad thing, so I guess I will... eventually... get this game. I guess, once I told them that, it seemed to satisfy them and they wont treat me like I am a complete outcast.

So yah... University life, so far, reminds me of kindergarden.... Hopefully it will get better

Yours truely

the Giant

Ok, so here's what happened.

2006-09-06T21:52:00.000-07:00

I just had both, my first day of orientation. and also my first day of work after camp. Both went fairly well, but it was nothing overly exciting about either of them. I am, however fairly tired from the whole experience, therefore I am not going to write you bad poetry! YAY!

In the end, I ended up getting excited about nothing special as of yet. Hopefully tommorow will be more interesting and I will actually come up with some sort of spine so's I can start making friends with some of the people in my Faculty!

Have a good one,

The Giant

Today, was a very good day...

2006-09-03T23:41:00.000-07:00

It was beautifull, first I started off just sleeping, I slept until 11:30 and it is a beautiful thing to wake up realizing its almost lunch time. I then proceeded to wake up in a slow and pleasurable fashion that involved falling back asleep several times.

Eventually I phoned Fil and we ended up going out for lunch and then an extreemly overpriced frozen coffee beverage. This was good times, and was enjoyed very much.

I then recieved a phone call from one of my buddies from school and I, Mudd, and 3 of my school chums went out in the evening for fun and videogames. This, though in a very competitive and heated way, was also enjoyed very much.

Now I am writing this log, and will afterwards proceed to going back to sleep once again... hopefully tommorow will be just as good of a day as this one has been!

A POEM, A POEM... my KINGDOM FOR A POEM!

Water.

Always downwards,
flowing downwards.
drifting in a snake like curve,
rushing past in white torrents.

An awesome force to power houses;
a gentle blessing from the sky.
Stinging needles that welt the flesh,
a torrent rendering all it touches.
Good and bad come from all things,
Water is in no way different.

Such a strange thing,
to hold this miracle in glass,
ah well.
might as well drink it while it lasts!

Don't really care if this one is a bad one, because I think its fun, and I have decided I really like drinking something that can plow down houses and curve valleys through rock! GUTS OF STEEL.

Anyway, have a good one.

the GIANT

Wow.... University is BIIIIG

2006-08-31T22:33:00.000-07:00

Ok so here's the scoop.

I haven't even gotten onto the campus yet and already I am beginning to feel the preasures of university life comming onto me. Tommorow I have the day full of university stuff I need to be doing. Campus id card, transit stuff, books, tuition, bank stuff, RESP management, learning to spell.

MAN have I got alot of work to do.

On a happier note. I am fairly excited about having a bunch of camp buddies come celebrate my 18th belated birthday with me tommorow. Hopefully the times will work out and I will be able to come :P

Other than that. there really isn't alot going on in this giant's mind!

Until Next Time

the GIANT

ok...

2006-08-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

You remember how I said I would have a lot of things to say today...

Well I think I may have problems keeping up with that statement. The surgery went off without a hitch, took like 30 sum minutes. It doesn't really hurt all that much... it actually feels better now that all that presure I didn't know about is gone.

The only things that suck right now is that I have problems eating anything solid and I am real hungry! But that should solve itself in a few days.

On top of it all, all of the doctors and nurses that where assigned to me where really cool, and the doctor even called to check up on me midway though the day. (not sure if I am creeped out or if it is a good thing... leaning towards good thing.)

Its crazy, just when you thought you had the world all figured out, it sends you a curve ball straight in the eye!

Any way, peace out!

-the Giant-

Hmm... I don't feel any different...

2006-08-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s official. I am now considered a legal adult in Alberta, Canada. The funny thing is though; I don’t feel any different at all! All this hype and excitement, and when it finally gets here, I don’t even have a trickle of adultness... At least, not any more than I did yesterday. : P

It frustrates me that our society has to officially call you an adult before you can do so much stuff. It’s funny, because to me, I have seen 12 year olds that are more mature than I am. If only there was a magical way of testing maturity levels, so that the immature morons that are always out there will never get the opportunity to go to a bar and get wasted, then go driving. Or to have 20 kids, and not take responsibility for them.

Ah well... you can always hope.

I THINK I WILL TRY IT!!!
I am going to be trying a poem. It may suck or smell or whatever word you prefer, but it has been a full year so go easy ok?

In my room the screen is glowing,
hiding things without me knowing.
Treading softly behind the door,
creeping slowly 'cross the floor.

"What’s outside my window pane,"
I say out loud to myself in vain.
Ghouls or goblins?
Witches or crows?
Feel apprehension as it grows.

A man should not feel such things as these,
nor should he be startled by a sudden breeze,
maybe a man I truly am not?
It's not fair, what rubbish, what Rot!

Society says I am a man,
but I'm not sure I really can
be all things I'm supposed to be.
Makes one feel as if to flee
the fell things flying in my direction,
and mixing in the muddy confection
that... is... my... LIFE!

But this is the way all people feel,
at least of those not set to reel.
To finish up, the point I bring
is: I'm the same ol' giant I was in spring!

So yah, didn't turn out to bad, but I think that it is deffinately not my best. Anyway, those of you who actually read this, I am going in to surgery tomorrow at lunchtime to get my wisdom teeth out, so maybe the next entry will have a more passionate topic. Like how cool freezing is. Or how the surgeon didn't wash his hands after going to the washroom >:P.

Always here.

The giant

I have RISEN!!!

2006-08-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

Wow, hard to belive that it has been almost a year since I last posted. Ah well, things happen I guess. Any way, I am back from camp now, and I am turning 1 8 tommorow so you can imagine my excitement.

No poetry for today, but maybe next time.

I do however have a nice little saying thing that suddenly just popped into my head.

"Time is precious, sometimes it's better to take a chance than to wait and see what happens."

Anyway, as you can see, there really isn't alot going on in my head right now, so, I am going to go now.

woo hoo yah for the WEEK END!!!!!

2005-11-03T19:00:00.000-08:00

I am doing ok... starting to get back into the swing of things, thanks for posting guys.

Any way, it has been a while hasn't it? I REALLY miss camp ALOT, it was so easy there. I have noticed alot of crappy stuff at home, I dunno why, probably because I dont have alot of people to hang out with at school, and haven't been seeing them alot lately, dunno why, just haven't...

the biggest thing I have noticed is how the youth, as in us in todays society, are totally divided. LIKE CRAZY MAN. Not only do we have so many people doing different things, disagreeing and agreeing on so many different levels, that it is like chaos. Alos I noticed that we are unmotivated, and extreemly rude.

first i would like to talk about our motivation issues. Alot of our generation don't like the current situation, and they would like to change our global issues, help with changing peoples lives for the better. And you know what, I think we could, if we got organized. Can you immagine? all of todays youth, with all of our influence and resources, banding together to help people, even if it is on a local level? THAT would be cool. But it isn't going to happen because us kids are lazy. We wont do it because no one will make us do it. and that is a very sad thing.

I also noticed that people are very rude to their supperiors, or supervisors. Parents especially. They just have no respect for them anymore, if your parent asks you to do something, and it is reasonable, then you should do it, not argue and whine about it for 15 mins more than it takes to just do it. It just isn't right, at least, not in my point of view.

Any way, that is my observations over the last week. Cheers.

(*PS) I think it would be cool to have a big christmas thing for all the PLC staffers, and whoever else wants to come. Post a reply if you guys are interested or something

Life is a job, and I hate work

2005-10-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

I am not happy... dunno why, I'm just not. Haven't been feeling well either. Maybe its just the unhappiness that I'm feeling. Mr. Cheez isn't doing well either. Pray for him. *sigh*

I feel like I need to get away. last night I thought about maybe, just going. You know, grab some underwear and a toothbrush, maybe a little money, and then taking off for a bit. But then I figured I would probably just end up making things worse.

Mudds birthday is tommorow, so yah, Happy birthday Mudd.

Bye

sigh

2005-10-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

I don't really think this has been my week...

Not really sure whatelse to say, Allison and I broke up, broke my foot(I have an update on that, will be later in the post), school has been not so interesting, like a waste of time, poison mould in the house(like the stuff that was found in the clusters at Pine lake camp). All around, it isn't exactly the best memmories ever.

Of course, things could be worse. I continue to live and grow, so it means bad must come with the good. When you enter a relationship, usually, you don't look at the end before you begin... but I did. I knew that it probably wouldn't last, but I figured that it would be worth it... and it was in many ways. However, I (being an inexperienced lummox in this part of life) didn't realize what it would feel like. The hurt doesn't come right away, it comes later. And surprisingly it isn't the kind of hurt you would expect. I, at least, expected a grief, something like the loss of death. But really, its when you forget that it hurts the most, when old memories come up and you realize it won't be like that anymore. When thoughts or feelings from before come to the surface, like they did so many times before and... well... you have to throw them away, because it hurts more to keep them than to do that. In away, it will always be there I think, a shadow of the past. But I don't think that it will be bad.

UPDATE ON MY FOOT.

it turns out that I am not so much of a wuss that I thought. It is worse than the doctors originally thought. its not the break that is causing the pain and swelling, its the ankle...

There are 3 tendons in and around the anke bone, and I have skrewed up 2 of them. One of them is completely ruptured, it is like, 2 hunks of meat in my foot. And the second one is torn, which for those of you that have experienced this, hurts somewhat.

so... here is their verdict. I will have to have the cast on for 6 weeksish. This is to protect the foot more than because I can't walk without it, from bumps and stupid things a person does(like falling down stairs or something). I will also have to go in for more xrays in 3 weeks, because there may be some fractures that they haven't been able to see yet, due to the swelling. And finally I will have to go to Physio Therapy, to ensure that the muscles will heal properly and so that I can relearn how to move my foot.

Nice eh?

All wounds heal

all hurts,
all pains,
all blood,
will heal

depression,
cold,
lonlyness,
leaves.

but it still hurts,
the road we walk,
is filled with glass,
and feet can only take so much.

we live and die,
a visious cycle,
gods hobby,
sucks doesn't it...

but We will continue,
walking the road,
despite the glass,
all wounds heal.

...and a friend never dies.

Anyway, talk to you all later, and I miss all you SAPLC folk. DYB this weekend, will have to figure out whom I will be staying with, and yah, keep on walking.

Another day.... yay

2005-10-11T16:31:00.000-07:00

I have decided to post today... though, nothing really interesting has happened. I got in trouble last night because I was on the phone to long. You'd think that after like 17 years of rare use I could use it now, like the time was banked or something. But it isn't and it doesn't help me right now anyway.

I have band tonight, WOot...

I am not really looking forward to it, our bandmaster is treating it like we are a proffesional group, and we aren't it is voluntary. He is kinda being very mean about not doing 16th note runs on a tuba PERFECTLY, and I mean, come on, give us a break. He expects us to take the bloody instrument home and practice. Though, I suppose it is reasonable to a certain extent.

Foots still broken.. I tried to walk a little on it without the cast... yah, it wasn't such a hot idea, it made it go angry red and swollen, which caused pain in the cast. So walking around at school today wasn't nice.

I am looking out of my window right now and I noticed that the sky is very blue today, and that there are little to no clouds. I suppose that that is pretty cool, but it doesn't REALLY mean anything to me.

In french class, we have been discussing philosophy (in french of course), and it is getting quite interesting. We are all HOT DEBATE about religion vs. science, and well... I think that both are right and wrong in different aspects. FOR EXAMPLE, I belive in a creator god, but I also believe that we may not look RIGHT NOW like we did when god first created us. I belive that creation is still going on and that God is not done creation to begin with, that our world is being shaped to much for there to be no divine will in the process. HOWEVER, I think religion makes us seem WAY more important than we really are. Think about it. God only made us because he was bored, there wasn't anything going on at the time, hence, why god had to create it. I belive that we are all just some giant hobby. AND SURE, he loves us. The same way that you would love a model areoplane, or some other HUGE project that you are doing. Its because you put a part of yourselves into the project, and even if it doesn't turn out the way you originally planed it then you will still love, at least, parts of what you have created. And that is my view on our purpose. I, of course, am probably wrong though so don't go quoting me or anything.

Now that that interesting tid bit is done time to move on to different matters.

I dont think that I am capable of writing a poem, after last times massaker I think I will wait for some inspiration before I start doing nothing in particular through words. I like to think that what I do is decent and I dont want to ruin it with half-ass (excuse the language) peices of literature that I don't really feel.

I will however put a pretty picture on :D

Sticks and stones have broken bones...

2005-10-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

I hate this soooo much. I have a broken foot at the moment, its embarassing how I got it too. I twisted my foot while doing warm up for rugby last wensday. It kinda sucks much, and it isn't exactly the most enjoyable feeling ever. I will be in a walking cast for 1-2 weeks and I am banned from any sport activities for a month, so it kinda is a pain more than terribly serious. Its interesting though because you'd think it would hurt more than it actually does.

POEM TIME, I have decided to write one because its been a while and I have nothing better to do at the moment.

The accident

Blue sky,
bright and happy,
vision filled
with fluffs of white.

what happened again?
oh yah,
I fell.
My foot hurts.

probably just sprained,
struggle to the top,
the hill is steep,
but I made it.

broken signs of life,
a leaf falls on my nose,
man this poem sucks,
but I don't care.

metalic smells,
squeeling noises,
the hospital,
long time to wait.

its broken,
hurray for me,
walking cast,
hurray again.

back home,
angry at myself,
why am I stupid?
why am I big and clumsy?
life goes on.

Any way, that one is probably one one of the worst poems I have ever read, but it doesn't matter all that much because I am missing my insaration. Anyway. Hope you guys are all having a good life at the moment, and I hope that all will go well in the future.

from,
THE GIANT

ABC's are overrated

2005-10-03T13:20:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I have posted, and I am sorry for that, but honestly, blogging isn't exactly on the top of my priority list, so yah, there. Anyway, not sure what I was going to write about on this one, cause I don't feel the insparation of writing poetry(maybe it will come a little later). So I decided to talk about other stuff.

A.
I find that life is not cool at the moment. Its not bad, its just.... become extremely complicated. I am just on my senior year of high school and well, it isn't easy to figure out that you are growing up. It sucks thinking of all the responsablilities and all the "grown up" stuff that I will find my self required to do, and well it is a bit frightening. There will be need for ALOT of growing up in the next year.

B.
I have FINALLY figured out that I haven't ever really known what it means to be a christian, that is, until this YC weekend. You see there is a difference between thinking that you are a christian and actually being one. And it is a BIG difference. I am a sheltered child(extreem understatement) and I was raised in a "christian" home, though I find that it is harder and harder to think of it that way. My familly lives in the past. My mom believes herself to be a very strong christian, yet I find her to be immature and racist. She has all these old beliefs, that people cant change and that I can't be associated with the people she doesn't know or that she dislikes or that have maybe done things in the past that they regret. And that is not what it is about, its not a secret club and its not a state of mind. Its a way of life and people are twisting it to be what they belive it to become.

C.
I suddenly find people talking to me, not that people didn't do it before of course, but its like I suddenly have been noticed around other people. For example: someone came up to me in the hall that I barely know, he is an aquaintance and he was never extremely nice to me, but he slaps me on the back in an extremely friendly way and starts talking ammiably to me. Some thing I am not extremely used to in a school setting unless with my closer friends. Also, on my way to school this morning( I had to go to band) some girl I never had seen before came up to me and started to talk to me in a quite friendly way about the book I was reading, usually I find myself on a bus seat to myself because noone wants to sit with someone of my size or something.I am growing more confient in myself. I never really cared what other people thought of me, but suddenly I find my self view beginning to evolve. I am not really sure what is happeneing there but I will keep you up to date and whatnot.

And finnaly I am having problems with the stray thoughts that are floating around in my head. Ever since camp things have been going wacko at home, and on top of it all I suddenly find myself with a girlfriend(whom I am grateful for, dont get me wrong) which muddles it even more. (Those of you that have had relationships in the past may recall something simmilar in their first relationgship). With these experiences I have discovered to much my dismay that girls are wiered and make little to no sence at all.

I miss you all from camp and I am itching for the summer already :( this is going to be a long school year I think.

Anyway I will blog again soon I think,

The GIANT

I'm back

2005-09-25T19:52:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

Sorry that I haven't been blogging so much lately, it has been a bit of an... interesting week. I have had alot of things to think about, and I find it a bit difficult to find insparation while your mind is clouded in a swamp of other things.

Just so that everyone will stop asking, yes, yes YES and for the last time YES. I now have a Girlfriend and if you don't know who I am talking about then ignore the previous statement.

Anyway, I have found some insparation but this time it isn't going to be from the top of my head so yah, going to do some sort of sence out of it

New

(not part of the poem, but still with the theme, and artisticall type stuff)
A new life that I have found,
a new begining in this mind
that I have come to believe is real.
And that the version of truth,
that I have come to know will be shattered.
Even so,
all will be right.

a new begining,
a new life,
a new song,
a new bread.

freedom comes,
freedom goes,
but new insparation,
will always be fleeting,

However a songbird,
opened my eyes,
setting free my mind,
giving me blue wings.

So that I may float on a new breeze.

So yah, that is what I have managed to pick out of the muddle that is my head. This is my emo. The entirety of it, my poetry is a window to my soul, and I hope that you take it as seriously as I have been. It helps release tension that would normally be stored in my demon box(I will explain it on a later post, it is actually quite the story). And I highly recomend it to those that find emo really annoying, because it is better that doing something stupid.

Those are my thoughts,

THE GIANT

Round and round my head doth spin.

2005-09-20T16:20:00.000-07:00

I ma getting the headaches again, the teeth ones. I find that they come and go, and that they vary in the severness. But any way, thats not why I made this board.

POETRY OF THE DAY(off the top of my head as usual)

Hot and Cold

Warm outside,
thick jacket,
blue sky,
dark hair and bright eyes.

Cool inside,
cool heart,
cool mind,
cool to the things he doesn't know.

Hot outside,
boiling sun,
green aound me,
glad to be there,
drinking in the golden nectar.

cold inside,
cold emotions,
sickness of misery,
frost of lonleyness,
empty void waiting to be filled.

warm and cool,
hot and cold,
mixed together,
lukewarm person,
Again the ride begins.

And yet another masterpiece by yours truly. If any one figures out what it means then please don't hesitate to contact me and fill me in, because I have no clue. I am having an ok day, and yet it has been kinda boring, I am going to band later today, 8:15 at glenmore temple if any of you guys out there want to come play in a band, though it might be good for you to be able to play a BRASS instrument well(its the Sally Ann brass band). And you should contact the bandmaster before hand. ANYWAY, I hope you guys are going to have a good rest of the week.

from,
THE GIANT

(ps. I miss you Allison)

A new day, a new blog

2005-09-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

I have decided to go with blogspot, as a new blog. This is because it has become a pain and a half to get to the MSN spaces from school whithout using the MSN Messenger link. And I am doing alot of blogging at school, during my spares, so this is my blog.

I named it Inside the mind of a Giant, because I find that people are calling me 'Giant' at school more than they are using my actual name. This includes my teachers and people I don't even know(Its a funny story so if you want, e-mail me and I'll post it later). Anyway, I'm still kinda new to this whole, share your feelings, and write it out for the world to see, but it is cool that you can release to people that don't even know your name, or anything about you, except what you write on the interenet.

Anyway I was musing on nothing in particular when I thought that I might like to write a poem off the top of my head, I liked doing it last time on my MSN space, so I will do it here to...

Getting Away

Streets of concrete,
paths of gravel,
stone walls,
glass windows,
Cold floors and grey lighting.

Outside,
new light,
blue skies,
green plants,
vivid and wonderful.

Lost in eyes of winter skies,
lost in memories of shooting stars,
lost in thought of happy times,
blissfully lost in past and future.

Think of the times,
that have come and gone,
escape into memories,
escape into the mind
of a giant.

I thought that turned out quite well, now that I am re reading what I wrote. I like the last part. He he, it could be my theme in my blog. I think that would be cool. Anyway, I am going to leave a contact information that will alow people to contact me privately and give comments, or spill something they might only be able to tell a stranger, I am a good listenner.

from,
THE GIANT.